Love and Fear are 2 strong emotions. I once read somewhere that all human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions--fear or love.
I have such a huge heart. I love extremely hard. It's a gift and a curse. Because sometimes that love isn't reciprocated. Nothing hurts worst than heartbreak.
But I realized that I there are times when I confuse fear and love. I can stay in a unfruitful situation for too long, feeling that I fighting for love when actually I am Afraid. Afraid the unknown outcomes, afraid of being disappointed, afraid of the loneliness, and mostly afraid of being heartbroken.
Moving in fear has caused me to make bad decisions or worst...it caused me to make no decision at all. Which created an opportunity for other people or even the universe to decide for me.
I am done with living my life by default!
I have only one new year resolution for 2014. It is to DECREASE the burdens of fear and guilt and INCREASE my FAITH!!
I declare war on fear!
I will live my life everyday with great expectations.
I will have faith that everything has a purpose, even if I don't fully understand that purpose.
I will learn from mistakes because mistakes create experiences and experiences build character.
I will love all of my scars because they are what make me unique and being unique is beautiful.
And to you, the Most High God. I know that I question everything all the time, and I'm far from perfect. But I thank you for being patient with me while I'm on my spiritual journey and revealing the answers to my questions in ways that I can understand. Thanks for loving me in spite of my flaws. You are my very best friend. I trust you...I give my life to you...do with it as you see fit.
I'm ready.
So I had a dream two nights in a row. I can't remember either of the dreams but I know you were there. So, in total surrender and obedience to God I said this has to be a sign. I'm not sure if you still use this blog but I pray this finds you well. I just wanted too say I'm sorry. For everything. It feels weird apologizing for things I did as a child but it feels even more weird that I felt justified in doing them. I pray your well. I read this blog entry once I found your page and thanked God because where you are/were is exactly where HE can use you. I know for sure that when you make a decision to seek God and have a faith based life you'll enter a pruning season. A wilderness. A humbling season. Perhaps all of those places are what brought me to writing you. Put I pray you comfort in whatever season you are in. I pray discernment and peace through the process and I pray that you know God is a God of restoration and HIS timing and provision is perfect in every season. I wish well dear and again I'm sorry for any bad memory I caused in high school. God bless you and may your overflow be NOW! Kiva
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