Just thinking....and writing

My favorite thing about you...
is that when I talk, you listen.
No interruptions.
No distractions.
No "Well just let me mention"s.

You say that your favorite thing about me...
is that I smile with my eyes

I didn't mean for you to catch that...
you saw right thru right thru my disguise.
You saw thru my "I don't care"s...and "let me call u back"s
You saw my heart...and the love that it lacked
You saw me...Plain.

No sugar.
No cream.
No make-up.
No perfume.
No designer jeans.

Just Key :)

SWAGGLIFE MAGAZINE LAUNCH PARTY (My First Gig) LOL

2 post in 1 day....look at me showing off!! LOL

Well...I was looking over some of my work, and came across this job. I remember being sooo nervous and sooo excited not only because it was my first gig...but because I was sooo very proud of my good friends for starting their own magazine. Shout out to Beans and Kyle!!

I must admit...I tore myself apart. I should have asked different questions?? Why does it look like I'm chewing gum??? Shoulda...Coulda...woulda-s right and left. But now...I see my mistakes...I have some changes to make...but overall I love the work...I enjoyed myself...so I want to share :)

Constructive Criticism is definitely wanted and greatly appreciated!!!

RIP Mark Baltimore!!

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

I gave up on God. Go ahead….gasp…judge me even, but the truth is...I was angry, very confused, and I wanted nothing to do with the Bible, church, religion, or God. Yes, I realize how selfish and ungrateful that sounds. Here I am sitting in my comfortable apartment, eating in abundance, driving my own car, employed, healthy, and surrounded by unconditional love. Yet I have the NERVE to complain. Now I see that it was a process, and it was necessary.


I thought God wasn’t listening to me. It seemed as if my prayers would come out of my mouth, bounce off the ceiling, and fly straight into hell for the Devil to do with them as pleased. So I begin speaking without filters...sometimes a little reckless…but it was honest, and as open as I have ever been with God. One day, I asked for TRUTH. I wanted truth to be revealed to me about myself, other people, my decisions, and even current and past situations. Little did I know, God was listening, and I got more Truth than I was ready to handle.

Truth is…I had given up on myself, and started blaming God for all the reasons why I was unhappy.

Truth is…God knows me. God knows my thought process. But, in order for me to understand God I had to shed all of the information that I was given, release my “Church hurt”, and all of the religious confusion. I had to ask questions, research, and trust that this process would lead me to my own personal relationship with God.

Truth is…God has already given me everything that I need. I have plenty of resources, knowledge, and common sense. It is up to me to use everything that God has given me to conquer my goals.

Truth is…I was not making decisions because I was afraid of making the wrong choice. I know now that when I don’t choose I live by default and someone or the universe will choose for me. Life goes on…choose something…if it doesn’t kill you it will strengthen u…then choose again.

Truth is…Where you are currently in life, is direct reflection of your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Wherever you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be. If you don’t like your situation, change it. If you haven’t reached your goals, it’s cool!! TRUST and ENJOY the process!!!

Truth is…THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!! Free to make your own decisions. Free to surrender to your feelings. Free to obtain knowledge and wisdom. Free to Love yourself and others WITHOUT PRETENSE.

I remember when I was a child and my mom would spank me and then she would hug me. I would be hurt, but I learned my lesson, and still felt loved all at the same time. That is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning.

I am a long way from where I want to be, but I thankful for how far I have come. Thank God :)

Song of the Day...Donnie McClurkin- "We Fall Down"
 

DIDNT NEED ZOLOFT TO SLEEP....JUST WATCHED THE VMA'S

THERE WAS NOTHING....AND I MEAN NOTHING EXCITING ABOUT THE 2010 VMAs. I WAS KINDA HAPPY BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SUNDAY NIGHT PROGRAMMING IS MY FAVORITE...AND I DEF COULDN'T MISS THE SEASON FINALE OF ENTOURAGE.

ANYWAY...I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS SOME OF MY FAVORITE VMA MOMENTS....IM SURE THERE ARE PLENTY MORE BUT THESE WERE THE FIRST 5 THAT CAME TO MIND.

#1. JAY-Z AND ALICIA KEYS....EMPIRE STATE OF MIND!!!!! (2009)



THIS PERFORMANCE WAS SOOOO ELECTRIFYING. I CAN REMEMBER WANTING TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE AIRPORT AND GET ON THE FIRST PLANE TO NYC...LOL. AND EVEN THO LIL MAMA DECIDED TO HI-JACK PERFORMANCE....ITS STILL ONE OF OF THE BEST I EVER SAW!!

2. CHRIS BROWN FT RIHANNA...WALL TO WALL, UMBRELLA, AND KISS KISS MIX (2007)



CHRIS BROWN IS ONE DANCING SON OF A GUN....MAN OH MAN...WHEN THEY STARTED JUMPING ACROSS THOSE TABLES I WANTED TO LOSE MY MIND. I JUST KNEW HIM AND RIHANNA WERE GOING TO BY THE NEXT JAY AND BEY BUT UMMMMMM....YEAHHH...GUESS NOT. ANYWAY...WHAT A SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE!!!

3. DIDDY (WELL PUFF DADDY AT THE TIME), STING, AND FAITH...I'LL BE MISSING YOU-TRIBUTE TO BIG!! (1997)



SUCH A GREAT MOMENT!! CLASSIC. RIP BIG

4. NSYNC FT MICHALE JACKSON....POP (2001)



LMAO....MIKE WAS GETTING IT WASN'T HE!! I LOVE THIS PERFORMANCE....ITS SOO COLORFUL AND FULL OF ENERGY!!

5.P.DIDDY, USHER, GINUWINE, BUSTA RHYMES, AND PHARRELL (2002)



YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! HOW CAN U NOT GET PUMPED AFTER WATCHING THIS!! IM EXCITED....DIDDY BOPPING, TWO STEPPING, SLIDING ACROSS THE FLOOR AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!! I LOVE IT!!

OK....ONE MORE

6. BEYONCE....RING THE ALARM (2006)



ITS BEY....NUFF SAID :0)

DEAR MTV,

PLEASE STEP YA COOKIES UP!!

THX!!

JUST KEY

*CRICKETS*

WAITING FOR LIFE TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT...OR AT LEAST SOMETHING I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT :)

MEANWHILE....SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY ISSSS

E. BADU "WINDOW SEAT"

HAVING ONE OF THOSE DAYS....

SOOOO....IM HAVING ONE OF THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER DAYS. SO MUCH IS GOING ON...AND I FEEL LIKE IM IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL...BUT I WONT BE DEFEATED. DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY...I WILL LET THE MUSIC BE MY THERAPY.


SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY

I TOLD THE STORM...Greg O'Quin 'N Joyful Noize

STAY ENCOURAGED :0)

CUTTY'S SURPRISE DINNER PARTY AT MI CASA

OK so dinner parties are officially my favorite thing to do!! (well...as for right now). I decided to turn my 1 bedroom apt into a restaurant and give Cutty a Surprise 30th Birthday Party.


I must say that was the best crazy idea I have had thus far...WE HAD A BLAST!!


WE ATE, WE LAUGHED, WE PLAYED GAMES, WE LAUGHED SOME MORE!!

WE CELEBRATED...IT WAS A NIGHT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER!!

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CAME!!

AND I HAVE TO GIVE A BIGGGGGGG THANK YOU TO SHERIA AND ERIKA!! Thanks for ripping and running around with me allllll day, being the CEOS, the designers, the organizers, the hosts, the servers, and the clean up crew...all on 2-3 hours of sleep..LOL...I DEFINITELY could not have pulled it off without y'all!! THANKS AGAIN!! LOVE U MUCH!!

THANKS TO MY CUZZO MOE (ARTISTIC VISIONS BY MOE) FOR COMING THRU AND TAKING PICS!!!

I JUST REALIZED THAT BLOGGER DOESN'T HAVE A MULTI PICTURE UPLOADER OR I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT...AND I SAT HERE FOR ALMOST AN HOUR UPLOADING PICTURE BY PICTURE IN VAIN BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON THEY DIDN'T SHOW UP...SOOOOOO I'M NOT GOING TO BE SELFISH...I'M GOING TO PUT THEM ON FACEBOOK. SHOOTAH.
 
HERE'S A FEW THO...
 

 

TABLES AT MI CASA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUTTY!!

MI CASA'S CEOS, ORGANIZERS, DESIGNERS, AND STAFF LOL
THANKS SHERIA AND ERIKA!!

SURPPRRRIIIISSSEEEEE!!!!

THE MENU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUTTY!!!

TODAY'S POST IS DEDICATED TO MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD!!

HE IS A GREAT MAN...A TERRIFIC FATHER...AND A AWESOME FRIEND!!

I LOVE U DAVID "CUTTY" HALL!!! ENJOY UR DAY :0)

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Word of the Day....DIVERSIFICATION!!!

You don't hear many success stories everyday...especially when you are born and raised in poverty. So for a  young black male to make it out of the projects (check), financially prosper and still survive to make it out of the drug game (check), successfully weed his way thru countless underground rappers and shine in the music industry (check), to making it allllll the way to the top of the Forbes list (check) is more than a success story....it's Jay-Z's story. According to Forbes.com Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter personally grossed $63 million from June 2009-June 2010....how he did it?? DIVERSIFICATION!!

I guess he meant it when he said "I'm not a businessman...I'M A BUSINESS MAN...I handle my business damn"

But anyway this article is not about Jay-Z...its not even about music....its about me finally getting the AH HA moment Ive been waiting to have for far too long. If you have read my previous posts you can see that  I have been doing some soul searching trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I called myself a jack of all trades...and a master of none...but that actually turns out to be a good thing...WHEN DONE THE RIGHT WAY!!

Jay-Z, Diddy, and Akon head the Forbes.com list because they don't focus on just one thing. They are entrepreneurs, actors, and executives all at the same time. I know I'm going down the right path...I'm excited to see where this road will lead me.

Soundtrack for the Day....Jigga "U Don't Know" 

MY OFF DAY

Sooo Im off of work on this rainy day. Usually the rain messes with my mood. But I came across these videos on YouTube that had me cracking up alll morning.

Im sure it will brighten your day...as it did mine.

Meanwhile....I really need to be working on my next blog.

Anyway...here you go Baltimore's own Maurice HOTDAMNIROCK!!!

Im trying...but not hard enough.

Yesterday I was imperfect...Today Im learning...Tomorrow I will be improved.
(or something like that...lol)

My Soundtrack for today isssssssssss Amel Larrieux - Get Up

Good Night Good People

*Muah*

Fail VS Try (Fail is kicking my ass) LOL Attempt #2

OK sooo...in my previous post I declared to blog 21 days straight...needless to say...I failed. My uncle once told me that NOTHING BEATS A FAIL BUT A TRY. So here I am again....WATCH YOUR BACK FAIL, YOU WILL BE DEFEATED!!! LOL.

Anyway...I need to be completely honest for a sec. Bare with me as I try to make sense of everything going thru my brain.

I have been extremely blessed with many talents. I am the type of women who can cook dinner, plan and design a party (within minutes might I add), all while sewing in my girlfriends weave *wink*. Sometimes I feel like being multi-talented is a curse. I'm indecisive...sometimes unfocused. Before I know it, years have gone by and I haven't accomplished any of the 5-10 things that I started. I am a jack of all trades...master of none.

At work...I sit in a cubicle (which is like a mental prison for someone with an overactive brain). But I came up with yet another almost impossible business journey. I had no choice but to laugh at myself because I have no clue where these ideas come from. I had to call my godmother on this one (she always set me straight)

"Keyaira, you have to choose!!" These are the words that she repeated, over and over and over again.

Now I'm not a very religious person...I'm more spiritual. Well...that's another part of my life that I can apply the JUST CHOOSE motto (but that's a whooollleeee notha post, which may be coming soon because I had a very  interesting conversation with a Jehovah's Witness the other day) Back to my point.

I heard something. I felt different. (I don't know if it was God or I am really schizophrenic) lol

But these words came to mind...."TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS REQUIRED"

This is my choice.

I choose to have outstanding work ethic. I will let my work speak for itself.

I choose to be fearless. I will not be afraid to face challenges. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I choose to take chances, to get up and brush myself off when I fall down, to not limit the possibilities that life has to offer, to love and embrace my journey.....to live.

Thanks Godmommy.

Soundtrack for this post...Pink's MISUNDERSTOOD

CHANGED MY MIND....REVISED SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY!!! LOL

IM LOVING EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS VIDEO AND THIS SONG!! SOOOO MUCH TALENT...DEF A INSPIRATION....

NEVER LANDING....THANKS SWAGGABOY LOS!!! :)

SOUNDTRACK FOR TODAY

DAY 21

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"


*MUAH* LOVE YALL!!

Its nights like this when the craziest things come to mind (yup, an idle mind really is the devil's playground). But instead of tossing and turning like I usually do. I decided to get up, inspire, and motivate myself.

*PROGRESS* :0)

I once heard that anything you do for 21 days becomes a habit. I tested this theory on my punctuality at work and TA DA...No more Mr. Write Ups.

So here I go again....21 days of blogging.

Nowwwww I'm not promising anything fancy (well....maybe sometimes). But for the most part you will get just me. Just Key. My thoughts...my feelings...my life.

I will start the countdown tomorrow....well later today. But for the Pre-Just Key 21 days of blogging extravaganza "wee hours in the am edition" (yup...I get extra silly when I'm sleepy), I will give you words of wisdom from Will Smith. Good effin stuff!!!

Enjoy :0)

REST IN PEACE AUNT AUDREY!!!

TO A FANTASTIC...POSITIVE WOMAN. YOU PUSHED AND YOU STAYED STRONG AS LONG AS YOU COULD.

YOU WILL BE MISSED.

LOVE YOU AUNTIE...MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.

THIS SONG IS FOR YOU <3

I HEART THESE GIRLS!!!!!! INTRODUCING VANJESS!!!!

IF U KNOW ME.....U KNOW THAT I LOVE UNDISCOVERED TALENT!! THESE GIRLS KILLED THIS SONG....ESPECIALLY WITH THE BEAT BOXING...WOW!!

IM PUMPED...IM EXCITED...I WANT MORE!! LOL

THIS IS FOR U...

TIMELESS

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH THIS SONG PLAYING IN MY HEAD. IT IS SO CLASSIC....SO TIMELESS. I GET A CHILL EVERY TIME I HEAR IT!!

THIS PAST WEEK HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME. I HAD TO FACE SOME UNEXPECTED CHALLENGES, AND HAD TO QUESTION THINGS AND EVEN A PEOPLE THAT I BELIEVED WITH ALL MY HEART WAS CONCRETE AND WOULD NOT SWAY. I REALIZE MORE THAN EVER THAT ITS TIME TO LOOK WITHIN ME TO FIND THE ANSWERS TO THE MANY QUESTIONS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND.

PEOPLE COME. 

PEOPLE GO.

YOUR SITUATION IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.

THE ONLY THING IN  CONSTANT IN LIFE....IS CHANGE.

ROLL WITH ME OR GET ROLLED OVER...EITHER WAY...I GOTTA KEEP IT MOVING

UP LATE POSTING LOL

"Today, I WILL NOT think of you"

but since I had to think of you to write this down

I will put it on tomorrow's "Things to Do"

See, I had built bricks around my heart but,

somehow you've broken through

And it wasn't anything fancy, anything dramatic, or over exaggerated

Baby, it was just you

and its the simplicity that frightens me, and excites me, and what is sending me into this frantic state

Because I can't break it, or return it, or simply throw it away

See, your smile (thought 2)

Brightens my day

followed by thoughts 3-5 running through my mind

that make you feel so close,

when your so far away

I adore you, and

Your miles away

(which was the first thought)

and reason that made me say

"Today, I WILL NOT think of you"

but since the day is almost over

I will put it on tomorrow's "Things to Do"

GREENSPAN...GOT GREEN 2

TWO YEARS AGO WHEN GREENSPAN DROPPED HIS FIRST ALBUM "GOT GREEN", I WAS MORE THAN IMPRESSED. HE WAS DIFFERENT...REFRESHING.
"GOT GREEN" IS DEFINITELY AN ALBUM THAT I CAN LISTEN TO WITHOUT SKIPPING ONE TRACK (YUP I LOVE IT THAT MUCH.)

NEEDLESS TO SAY....IT MADE ME WANT MORE.

NOW THE WAIT IS UP..."GOT GREEN 2" IS HERE!!

CHECK OUT THE TRAILER BELOW...AND SUPPORT ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTIST....ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE FOR THAT MATTER...GREENSPAN =)




Greenspan Got Green 2 Trailer from Greenspan Music on Vimeo.

A VERY CUTE MOMENT....

A VERY CUTE MOMENT....

I wrote a short story....TWELVE WEEKS!!!!

Soooo...I was bored at work and wrote a short story. This may not be the best place to read it but hey...if u would like a copy I will email it to u. Enjoy...TWELVE WEEKS :0)

She walked into the elevator and her lavender scent ignited my senses. She smiled, pressed the button for the 4th floor then turned to face the elevator doors. She was beautiful. I was intrigued. Her dark brown pea coat fell slightly above her knee, so I used my imagination to mentally paint a picture of her body. I stood there in the back of the elevator, numb. There were so many questions running through my head. I wanted to greet her, but could not muster up the courage to simply say “Hello”.
My name is Jay. I am successful, intelligent, attractive, and single. My friends tell me that I am too picky, but I disagree. I believe that there is one woman that will fulfill all of my desires. Five years ago, I decided to quit my job as VP of a successful Public Relations company to start my own agency, and honestly I just don’t have the time or the energy to sit thru dates with random women. Six weeks ago, I was challenged to go on one date a week for twelve weeks. My sister Chloe thinks that I set my standards too high for my future mate and I will never find the “perfect” woman that will meet all of my requirements. I was skeptical about the challenge at first, but I would go to any length to prove my overly competitive sister wrong. I will find the perfect woman for me. Although there is a million dollars at stake, I will accept this challenge for free.
The sound of the bell woke me out of my day dream. We were at the 4th floor and I had to think fast before she got off of the elevator. Time stood still and everything seemed as if it was moving in slow motion. I watched as she lifted her bag onto her shoulder and then ran her fingers through her jet black hair. She walked off of the elevator and I decided to follow.
There were many offices on the 4th floor and I wondered which one she would enter. I watched as she greeted people as she passed them in the hallway. Her walk was so strong, so confident. Finally she stopped and entered the office on the left at the rear of the building. The gold plated sign on the door read GOLDMAN, HOLLOWELL, and AND CHAMBRIDGE. I stood outside of the office for a moment. I didn’t know if I should approach her now or wait until I had more time to talk. My curiosity pushed me to go inside of the office. She walked passed the clients sitting in the waiting area. “Good Morning Ms. Cambridge”, said the young lady behind the desk. “Good Morning”, said my mystery woman as she walked past the receptionist and into her office. I quickly grabbed a business card from the receptionist desk and walked out of the door. “Tracy Cambridge, attorney at law,” I read the card to myself. “She has a job, a lawyer, well that’s one thing I can check off my list.”
Many thoughts filled my head as I walked back to the elevator. I had been on six dates in the last six weeks. I was nearly half way thru the bet and I had not found a suitable mate. There was Nancy, the elementary school teacher, she was too guarded. Then Sam, the veterinarian, didn’t like her odor. The other dates were not even worth remembering their names.
I made it to my office in just enough time to prepare for my first appointment. I remembered I had scheduled a date this week with Fatima, a small business owner that I gave some advertising advice to a few months before she opened her bakery. I was excited about this date with Fatima. Not only was she smart, sexy, and business savvy, she also loved to cook.
Today will be a long day at the office. I usually schedule afternoon appointments to avoid the morning hustle and bustle, but I made an exception for a new potential client. My afternoon schedule was probably the reason why I never saw Ms. Cambridge in the elevator before even though we shared the same business building. I called Fatima after the lunch hour to confirm our date. The excitement in her voice was the same as mine. We made arrangements to meet at the French bistro on 22nd Street for Happy Hour after work.
Finally it was 5:00pm. I shut down my computer and headed out the door with hopes to have another elevator encounter with Ms. Cambridge, but she was no were in sight. I saw Fatima as she entered the Bistro. She was so graceful and elegant. Her caramel skin was flawless, smooth, and soft. She wore a perfectly tailored black business suit. I love a well dressed woman. I watched her as she sat at the table and removed her scarf. Maybe she is the one. Finally a woman that met more than half of my requirements, but I still could not get Ms. Cambridge off of my mind.
Fatima sat at a small table in the corner of the Bistro. She didn’t notice me when I walked inside. I slowly walked behind her, knelt down, and whispered “Hello gorgeous” in her ear. She jumped because I had caught her by surprise but I felt her energy change when she realized it was me. She turned around and smiled and her smile was enough to brighten even the devil’s day. I was mesmerized by her almond shaped hazel colored eyes. We sat down and the waiter came to take our order. We talked for hours. The conversation was effortless and for the first time in a long time, I was enjoying myself.
After a few more drinks, I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked past the bar and noticed a very familiar scent, lavender. I looked up and there she was, my mystery woman. I was having such a great time with Fatima that I nearly forgot about her, but the moment I laid eyes on her, lust took over me. I had to say something to her this time. I could not let her get away. I went into the bathroom to think of my master plan. How was I going to approach her while I was there with Fatima? What was I going to say? Finally I decided to send my business card by way of my waitress.
I walked out of the bathroom and saw my waitress standing near the kitchen. “Excuse me Sarah, Would you mind giving this card to the young lady standing at the bar with the long jet black hair. She is wearing the white button down shirt and tan colored slacks.” I said trying not to sound nervous. “Sure, sir, is there anything else you would like me to tell her?” Sarah asked. “Yes, please mention that I saw her in the elevator this morning and I would love to take her out on a date, but I have an emergency and need to leave right away. Also send her whatever she is drinking and put it on my tab” I said. “Yes sir, no problem.” Sarah took the card and placed it in her pocket. “Also Sarah, I would like to take care of the bill now. My friend and I are leaving.” Sarah went to the register and completed the transaction. Now all I had to do was get Fatima out of here before the card was delivered. I walked back to my table on the other side of the Bistro and asked Fatima is she was ready to go. She agreed and we both put on our jackets and left the Bistro. I was home free. Now all I had just had to wait for my mystery lady to call.
Fatima told me she wanted to meet a couple of her friends for a birthday gathering at a reggae spot called Home. They had a live band, good food, and a great atmosphere. After finding her friends, we put our jackets at the table, and immediately hit the dance floor. After a few songs, we went back to the table and I could not believe my eyes. There was Ms. Cambridge talking with Fatima’s friends. I held my breath as I watched Fatima hug Ms. Cambridge and shout “Happy Birthday to my Big Sister!!” I wished I was invisible so I could crawl out of the building unnoticed. But it was too late. I wondered if she would recognize me, but before I could finish my thought, Fatima was introducing me. “Tracy, this is my Jay, the guy I have been telling you about. And Jay, this is my sister Tracy!” she said with such innocence. Tracy hugged me tight and her scent was intoxicating. Before she pulled away she whispered in my ear, “Thanks for the drink.” I wanted to melt away. I was overwhelmed with guilt and I wondered if Fatima would ever forgive me. Tracy grabbed Fatima’s hand “I need to speak with you for a minute.” Tracy said to Fatima. I watched as they walked away and into the bathroom. This was the perfect time for me to get away, but I wanted to stand and face the consequences as a man.
Fatima’s face was filled with hurt, anger, and disappointment as she walked out of the bathroom. I was surprised because her demeanor was calm, but you could still see that she was upset. She told me that Sarah, our waitress, pointed me out to Tracy as I walked out the door of the Bistro. There was nothing I could do but apologize and explain to Fatima that I did not mean to intentionally hurt her, but I was selfish and wrong. She told me that Tracy was a lesbian, so all of my actions were in vain. I was speechless.
The next day I decided to call off the challenge with my sister, and just paid her the million dollars. I secretly hoped that my sister’s happiness would eventually wash away my guilt. I had spent years trying to find the perfect women, only to find that I was an imperfect man.

Swiped :0)

I swiped these lyrics from my friend Kia's blog. I had too...the words were speaking to my soul...(and Im sure she wont mind lol).

Amel Larrieux's Weary. I hope u enjoy them as much as I did!!


This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I'm made of stone
So I won't end up with no broken bones
I can't fight every battle alone

I want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me
kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard

If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing
this soldier song

Whomever said love was overrated
must not be getting' none
my independent days have had their fun
but when the parties over
and the workin' day is done
I just want to come home to someone

I want a love to take me
As I am not make me compromise myself
Or be like no one else
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And just lay down my guard


Where are u????

5 STAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY!!

I HAD THE PLEASURE TO INTERVIEW SOME OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE AT DJ 5 STARR'S 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF 1ST SATURDAY AT CLUB REALITY!!! IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT....AND DEFINITELY A GOOD LOOK!! IT WAS RECORDED BY DEEP FLOW STUDIOS AND CHECK US OUT :0)

MY FAV SONG RIGHT NOW!!! LUPE...IM BEAMING :0)

LET GO!!

My god sis Stephie is a "pretty clothes" HOARDER. Every time I go to her house and look in her closet there are sooo many very cute shirts and other pieces (price tags attached)....but yet she says she doesn't have anything to wear??? Her excuses are..."I don't have anywhere to wear that" or "I will wear that later"...saving her favorite items for some special day, but no day seems to qualify. So I started thinking, what am I holding on to?? I know I have plenty of journals and scrap notes that I have saved for some odd reason over the years...then I had a "AH HA" moment....I'M A EMOTIONAL HOARDER!!
I know some of u reading this may say "What in the world is she talking about??" and clearly this is not for you. Those of you that may have the same issue as I...LET IT GO!! This is my new medication....I take a dose of ITISWHATITIS everyday, sometimes twice a day. Some side effects may be losing a friend or two, realizing alot about yourself, and learning new and exciting things. One thing I have learned is that two things can't occupy one space. So be FEARLESS instead of timid...be HAPPY instead of sad...and well...u get the drift.
There should be no special day to let your happy show. Wear ur smile...its beautiful. It effects your spirit and also everyone around you. And finally, Wear ur confidence on ur sleeve, if u don't believe you, why should anyone else??!!
I'm just saying.......LOVE!! LAUGH!! LIVE!! :0)

WOW!!!

ITS FUNNY HOW I READ MY PREVIOUS BLOG FROM 5 MTHS AGO AND I STILL FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY (LIKE IM HOLDING MY BREATH)

I GOTTA LEARN TO BREATHE AGAIN.